Alisse Lee Goldenberg
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Help! (Wanna Write an Application For Me?)

3/18/2023

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Do you want to know something funny? When you tell people that you're a writer, they kind of assume that you can write just about anything. Need a contract drawn up? Well, that person is a writer! They can do it! Need a lease written? Ask the writer! Business email? The writer will whip one up for ya! How about a grant application? Writer! Well, I'm here to tell you that this is very much not true. (At least it isn't for me. If there's some sort of wünderkind out there who can do it all, I very much envy you and hate you at the same time.)

Currently, I am up to my eyeballs in filling out some serious applications. Yes, it has to do with my writing, but writing about my writing? It is both ugh, and help! My problem is that I have this innate need to turn everything into a story. I get descriptive, and flowery, and in the process of using all this lovely language, I lose the focus required to actually answer the question! If this was a story writing competition, I feel it would be in the bag. But it's not. It is my two least favourite things: 

1. Sell us on your work.
2. Sell us on yourself.

So... help! 
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Literally a picture of me right now. (It works because he's a writer too!)
So, here I am at my daughter's riding class trying to fill out an... application... and instead turning to this blog to vent my frustration with it. And this is a couple months before I need to turn to *gulp* grant writing! I know there are others out there who feel my pain. How do I condense literally years of writing and rewriting, edits and workshops into little sell yourself bite size businessy quote-ables that fit into boxes that cut you off when you reach an arbitrary character count?
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Merida feels my pain about the cutoff.
I don't know how the successful do it! For me, the cutoff comes just as I'm getting to the meat of my point. The I get to do the fun bit. (Said in all sarcasm.) I get to go through what I've written so far, and cut out all the lovely language I've spent ages anguishing over, and make myself sound dry and to the point. They say to kill your darlings, but this feels like a mass murder. By the end of the process, I don't even know if what I've written makes a lick of sense. Also, the applications and grants that don't tell you the word or character counts in the little boxes? I hate those! So you go along writing your answers, thinking "Finally! I can say exactly what I want, how I want!" And then, all of a su-
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He gets me. This is me right now.
You see my point? Once, I was writing an answer on one of these things, and I didn't even look at the screen. Just tap tap tapping along, and I didn't even notice it had cut me off. A whole paragraph of text went by, and I hadn't even realized that none of it had registered. I felt mighty stupid that day. 

I really should go back and finish what I started. But thank you for listening to me venting process. Have you dealt with this process? How did you cope with it? Any ideas to help a girl out? I'd love to hear from you.
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What? I Said I would be better at posting? I lied.

3/11/2023

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Okay, so I suck at posting on a regular basis. So sue me. Actually, scratch that. Please don't do that. But really. I will try to do better. Is that fair enough?

Do I have anything to report in the world of writing? I do actually! There are two new developments. Development number one... Lucky at Bat is an official Finalist in the Book Excellence Awards! Cue happy dancing! Who would have thought that out of all of the books I've worked on, the little book about rats and baseball would be the winningest? (It's a word. I swear!) 

Joseph. Joseph would have thought that, and he's here in my corner telling me "I told you so" in the loudest possible voice. I am really proud of my little weirdo. 

In other, also very exciting news, my Middle Grade novel The Ghost in the Garden has been picked up by a publisher! Even after writing umpteen books, it's still a whole ordeal to get them placed in the right hands, and I still get the joy of dealing with submissions, cover letters, and the long wait. But I am very excited about this one. The Ghost in the Garden will be coming out with Crimson Dragon Publishing. And I can't wait to see their funky little logo on the spine of that book. I love writing weird tales about things that interest me, and finding out that I am not the only one to find these things interesting. In this particular case, this is a ghost story, but it's firmly set in Stratford, Ontario. I researched Stratford, and put some of my favourite landmarks in it, and talked about quirky things I've noticed about the place in the many many times I've been there. If you haven't been, I can't recommend it enough. And not even just for the theatre. All the places the characters go in the novel are real, and are awesome. I can't wait for the updates on this one, from cover art, to edits, and for it to finally get into readers' hands! According to my daughter (also known as my unpaid Beta reader), Sophie Madison is her favourite character that I've created. So, tons of pressure on me there for this book to succeed. 

I am currently working on edits with Hailey on our novel The Kimmy Girls, and then it will be once again back to the land of submissions, cover letters, and waiting (not in that order. The cover letters come first!). It's a never ending cycle when you're a writer and my kids are learning this the hard way. Except for Phillip. Phillip is knee deep in basketball land. And that's great too! I believe in following one's passions, even if that is all things sports. I have learned a lot about sports from my kids. I think I can even passably ref a game or two if I had to. The hand signals are kind of fun. (Rolls hands to show 'travelling'). We will be heading out to Niagara Falls in April for a tournament, and then I get to show him the awesome weirdness that is Clifton Hill. Can't wait to show the pictures that will come from that day!

Until then! (Or sooner, if I get my act together.)
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Playing Catch Up

2/9/2023

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I really need to get better at updating here. We are in the midst of birthdaypalooza here, and the kids have turned twelve, and I have turned... forty (or as my friend calls it, 39+1). Since I've last updated, we went on vacation to New York to meet my new nephew, and Lucky At Bat has been out and has been garnering accolades much to my and Joseph's joy.

Our little ratty book has won the Mom's Choice Award and the Firebird Award! We are both so proud of our accomplishments so far. Joseph is thrilled that his idea has taken off in this way. 
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Joseph has now given his first radio interview, and I am hard at work on several projects. I always seem to have something up my sleeve. 

Our trip to New York was something. It was the first time we's ventured out to the U.S. since the pandemic had started, and it was great to have a vacation as a family, and to meet my new nephew Ezra, and see family. The kids were especially happy to enjoy their winter break away. 

As is usual for us, we saw some shows while in New York. I took Hailey to her first non-musical production, and we went to see Leopodstadt, which was an incredible experience for her. She was in awe at the kids onstage, and was taken in by the story and the history portrayed therein. It was an amazing night of theatre. Where were the boys? Well, that night the Toronto Raptors were in town, and they were at Madison Square Garden cheering them on as they defeated the New York Knicks! That's where.

As a family, we took the kids to see Wicked, which they all loved, and Into the Woods, which Phillip proclaimed had "too much singing." Dude, it's a musical. But he enjoyed the story. 

New York has always been one of my favourite cities. There's just something about its energy, and what it offers. We took the kids to the Natural History Museum, and ate Schmackary's Cookies. We tried different restaurants, and the kids had a blast at the Stardust diner watching the singing staff perform. Honestly, I can't wait until our inevitable return to New York!
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Less Than a Week to Go!

12/16/2022

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Okay, so it's a lot less than a week. It's actually... four days! Four days and one of my kids can call themselves a published author! That's right, on December 20, Lucky At Bat will officially be out, just in time for the holidays! It will be the third night of Chanukah, and four days before Christmas Eve. So, you all know you want to preorder your copy. Right? (*wink, wink, nudge, nudge*) So, hop on down to Amazon, or to Barnes and Noble and get your orders in. I mean, look at that little face. How can you say no to it?
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There's also the added bonus that a portion of all proceeds is going to Teeny Snoots Rat Rescue. Doesn't that just give you the warm fuzzies? You get the gift of literature, and you get to help these adorable little animals. What's not to love about that?

In other bookish news, I have finished going through my substantive edits of The Crash of Worlds. So all followers of the Sitnalta saga are finally going to see what happens next in the Kingdom of Colonodona. This book has been a long time coming, and I have worked so hard on this particular manuscript. I can't wait to take the story where it's headed next. My plans for Book Four are quite different from anything else that my characters have had to face before. Could it be... Sitnalta the Horror Story? Or maybe more of a mystery? It's all a surprise. Revel in the suspense!
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December Update- Book Fairs Rock!

12/6/2022

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It's December! In exactly two weeks, Lucky At Bat will have its official release. That's right, December 20, 2022 is the date that this book will be officially out in the world. As of right now, you can pre-order the book on Amazon and at Barnes and Noble. So, please do, and help the little ratties at Teeny Snoots Rat Rescue! Because, as I've said before, a portion of all proceeds goes to help them stay open, and help more of these little animals. 

What's happening as we gear up for release day? Well, Joseph and I will be participating at the Leo Baeck Day School book fair! I am ridiculously excited for this. As a Leo Baeck alumni, the book fair was my absolute favourite time of the year. I would show up with my allowance, and a little extra from my parents, and I would browse the displays set up in the school gym, buying the latest Goosebumps or Fear Streets (when I was a bit older) as well as stickers and cool looking pencils. I never once thought that I'd be an actual part of it one day. But we will be there with all of my books, as well as a Leo Baeck exclusive! Joseph and I will be setting up with Advance Reader Copies of Lucky At Bat! So to help both the rats, and the Leo Baeck library, we will have ARCs on sale at the fair for whoever gets there first. 

Joseph will also be doing readings for the first time ever. He is a bit nervous about this, and I completely understand. I still get butterflies every time I have to stand up in front of an audience and read from my books. But I know that he will be awesome. 

​Anyways, check out baby me! 
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Can you find me in this picture? Here. Let me help you a little bit...
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I look ridiculously happy about something. I have no clue what it is. All I know is that I'm currently thrilled that ancient photographic technology means that this is in black and white, and you don't see my braces in this blur, or the fact that at age thirteen, I thought it was the height of fashion to match my braces elastics to the season. Since class photos were done usually in the Fall, I was probably wearing a pattern of Halloween black and orange on my teeth. Wasn't I the absolute coolest? (Insert eyeroll emoji here.)

But I digress. School book fairs were the best. Weren't they? I am definitely looking forward to tomorrow. The me in that picture would be beside herself with joy if she knew what her future held in that regard. Let's go!
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Halloween- Gotcha Day!

11/1/2022

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This week was Halloween. The kids went trick or treating for the first time in two years. Phillip ended up going later than his siblings, because this year he's on a rep basketball team for the first time, and his team had a practice. 

So, Hailey took Joseph around the neighbourhood with their bubbie. I say that Hailey took Joseph because, while she was practically dressed as Robin from Stranger Things, Joseph was an inflatable T-Rex. The costume wasn't the most practical for climbing up and down porches, and visibility wasn't great, but he was determined that this was what he was going to be, and stuck to it.
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Hailey as Robin
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Robin and her Dinosaur
I took Phillip around after his practice, and we hit up the few houses that were still doling out candy. Happily, his coach had provided loot bags of treats for the kids at practice, and some came in costumes, which were discarded as soon as practice formally started. Phillip said that Halloween was fun for him. Any day that he gets to play basketball is a good day for him. 
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Phillip dressed as Vecna from Stranger Things for Halloween
What Monday also was, was Loki and GusGus's Gotcha Day. Last Halloween, Teeny Snoots Rat Rescue came to our home, and Loki and GusGus chose Joseph as their boy, and our house as their home. Here's a bit of what that looked like in 2021.
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A bunch of rats looking for a home
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A grey and white rat tests out Joseph
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Joseph with Loki and GusGus
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Loki settling into his new home, in a hammock he ultimately destroyed.
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GusGus exhibiting his love of blanket forts that still endures today
Each of the kids celebrates the day they got their animal in their own way. Hailey celebrates her hedgehog Sonic in July, and gives him treats and extra cuddles. Phillip celebrates his gerbil Stitch in August, and gives him new toy chewies that he goes through quickly (the little guy loves to chew!) and lets him climb all over his shoulders in a game of tag where Phillip is it, and the course for Stitch to run all over. GusGus and Loki celebrate with cuddles, and many many extra little ratty "doughnuts" (treats for small animals that are crunchy and good for them).

We all celebrate our pets in our own way. Simba, our dog gets special treats on his birthday every year, and gets lots of pets. What do you do to celebrate your furry little (or big) family members?
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PreSale, Baseball, and October Craziness

10/17/2022

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Well, it's crunch time as we gear up for December 20, and the release of Lucky At Bat! But guess what? You don't have to wait until that day to order the book! What's that? Oh, yes, the book is available right now on PRESALE!  You can just hop on over here and preorder your copy! This way you can rest easy knowing that you've done your part to support a young author (Joseph, not me, as he keeps pointing out with regards to my age.) and you have supported a wonderful rat rescue in Teeny Snoots.

I really should write commercials. 

Now, what else am I up to besides shilling my books? Well, now that the school year is in full swing, this means that I am back to my other job of being an unpaid taxi service for my children. This year, they switched schools, and can no longer walk themselves to school. So, every morning I drive them, and every afternoon I pick them up. I am also driving Phillip to basketball practice several times a week, and Hailey has taken up riding.

I am very proud of Phillip, as he has made a Rep Basketball team for the very first time! He is an official team member of the Avengers! (I question the legality of this, but then he also tried out for the Warriors and I wonder how these little leagues get away with this, and then my head hurts.) Joseph is trying out for each and every team possible at his new school. He is also a part of the school play and he and Phillip are part of the school's Dungeons and Dragons club. (Which to their eternal disappointment is NOT called Hellfire.)

This year was also our first year as season's tickets holders for the Toronto Blue Jays, and the kids loved being able to take turns seeing the games, watching their team work to get to post season. Joseph and I were at the last game we played in the WildCard series. Here is us, as the game started:

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So excited in our jerseys. Mine said Romano on the back, and Joseph's was for his favourite player- Teoscar Hernandez. We started out that day so happy. We got to the stadium early, watched the Jays do some batting practice. Joseph got to meet Hazel Mae, and told her all about how he's a catcher for his Little League team. The game started and our team was doing so well! And then...

I don't want to talk about that. I did not take a picture commemorating the end of the game. But, there's always next year! Right? Right?

At least Joseph and Phillip ended their season champions. Let's see what that looks like:
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Look at these boys! So happy! So winning! So Champions!

Now we're focused on Phillip's basketball season, and Joseph is excited for Loki and GusGus's gotcha day. Halloween has become so much more festive now that our little ratties have joined the family. 

So, in honour of Halloween, and Loki and GusGus, why not pop over to that link in the first paragraph and do your thing?

​(Nailed that commercial!)
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Cover Reveal Time!

9/29/2022

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You guys did it! Nearly 1,500 of you voted, and a cover was chosen! Of the two choices, which one won the day? Well, drum roll please.....


​It was this one!
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Look at how cute that little ratty looks! You know, I think that may actually be GusGus on that cover. He's going to be so pleased. He's now a famous little guy. The people have spoken, and I think that the people did an excellent job picking a cover. (Don't tell Hailey that. She was rooting for the other cover.)

Now, wait here for more Lucky At Bat news, and a preorder date will be forthcoming! That's right, you will all be able to order your copies soon! I know that Joseph can't wait to get his hands on an author copy. It just doesn't feel real until you can see, feel, and smell the book in person. (In case you can't tell, I am a book smeller. Ebooks don't have a thing on the tactile experience of flipping through actual pages.) How about you guys? How will you read Lucky At Bat? On your Nooks, Kindles, Kobos, phones, or as an actual page turnable papery wonder? (My bias is definitely showing.) Sound out about it below!
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What's This? It's a Cover Poll!

9/22/2022

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I'll be honest with you. Having a book published hasn't been this much fun in a while. I don't know if it's the company I'm keeping, or what, but I'm having a blast. Working with illustrator Erin Cutler has been great. Both Joseph and I were ecstatic to see the drawings she did of our characters Lucky, GusGus, and Fred. (Who's Fred? Well, you'll just have to read the book to find out!) But I think that part of what's made the process so much fun is seeing the publishing world through Joseph's eyes. Everything is new again, and so much of his excitement was rooted in the creation of our cover. He had a very definitive idea of what he wanted this book to look like. We discussed these ideas with the publisher, and were given four options. Each of these Joseph and I discussed together, and narrowed it down to the final two. And this is where the title of the post comes in! 

Drumroll please.......

We are having a cover poll! That's right! We need your help to decide which of these two lovely covers ends up being the perfect fit for Lucky At Bat! Now let's take a look at them both:
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OOOOOhhh...
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AAAAAhhh...

So, which one should it be? Sound off in the comments. But, even more importantly, hop on over to Koëhler Books' website and VOTE! That's right, you can vote, and see how many people agree with your taste (or, even better, DISagree with your taste) in real time. Let's get as many votes in as possible, and share it with your family and friends. Let's get as many people's opinions as possible, so we can figure this out. Let's get Lucky his time in the spotlight, and the best darn cover possible!

Click on over, right here!
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Checking in with GusGus

9/13/2022

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This may be a shorter one today. This week GusGus had his follow up appointment, and it went very well. He had his stitches out, and we got the histology report on his tumour. Joseph and I are very happy to report that there was no malignancy! GusGus is slated to make a full recovery and to hopefully live a long, and healthy ratty life! To say that Joseph is over the moon is an understatement. We are all very happy with this news. 

I can not express enough how important it is for your pets to get regular check ups. Even the littlest of animals should be seen by a vet every now and then. They can't talk to you and let you know how they're feeling, or if they're hurting. A little bit of preventative care can do a world of good. 

In related ratty news, I just had my cover art meeting with Koehler Books for Lucky at Bat. Joseph was stuck in school, so I had to handle it on my own. Good news is that Joseph had already expressed his vision for the cover to me at length and in great detail. I have to say that I am very excited to see what they come up with based on our ideas. It is going to be adorable! No. Joseph doesn't want this to be adorable. It is going to be... bad ass. (Can an eleven year old say that? He probably would even if I asked him not to. Oh well.)

Now, here's the man of the hour. Our newly healed GUSGUS! (He's helping me blog today.)
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You can see in the pictures above, that he still has a bit of a bald patch from the surgery, but the fur is growing back nicely. He isn't the Frankenrat he was before, so that's a good thing. And he is climbing about and moving around as if nothing happened at all. He's back to his cuddly, happy self again! 
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