Do you want to know something funny? When you tell people that you're a writer, they kind of assume that you can write just about anything. Need a contract drawn up? Well, that person is a writer! They can do it! Need a lease written? Ask the writer! Business email? The writer will whip one up for ya! How about a grant application? Writer! Well, I'm here to tell you that this is very much not true. (At least it isn't for me. If there's some sort of wünderkind out there who can do it all, I very much envy you and hate you at the same time.)

Currently, I am up to my eyeballs in filling out some serious applications. Yes, it has to do with my writing, but writing about my writing? It is both ugh, and help! My problem is that I have this innate need to turn everything into a story. I get descriptive, and flowery, and in the process of using all this lovely language, I lose the focus required to actually answer the question! If this was a story writing competition, I feel it would be in the bag. But it's not. It is my two least favourite things: 

1. Sell us on your work.
2. Sell us on yourself.

So... help! 

So, here I am at my daughter's riding class trying to fill out an... application... and instead turning to this blog to vent my frustration with it. And this is a couple months before I need to turn to *gulp* grant writing! I know there are others out there who feel my pain. How do I condense literally years of writing and rewriting, edits and workshops into little sell yourself bite size businessy quote-ables that fit into boxes that cut you off when you reach an arbitrary character count?

I don't know how the successful do it! For me, the cutoff comes just as I'm getting to the meat of my point. The I get to do the fun bit. (Said in all sarcasm.) I get to go through what I've written so far, and cut out all the lovely language I've spent ages anguishing over, and make myself sound dry and to the point. They say to kill your darlings, but this feels like a mass murder. By the end of the process, I don't even know if what I've written makes a lick of sense. Also, the applications and grants that don't tell you the word or character counts in the little boxes? I hate those! So you go along writing your answers, thinking "Finally! I can say exactly what I want, how I want!" And then, all of a su-

You see my point? Once, I was writing an answer on one of these things, and I didn't even look at the screen. Just tap tap tapping along, and I didn't even notice it had cut me off. A whole paragraph of text went by, and I hadn't even realized that none of it had registered. I felt mighty stupid that day. 

I really should go back and finish what I started. But thank you for listening to me venting process. Have you dealt with this process? How did you cope with it? Any ideas to help a girl out? I'd love to hear from you.

Okay, so I suck at posting on a regular basis. So sue me. Actually, scratch that. Please don't do that. But really. I will try to do better. Is that fair enough?

Do I have anything to report in the world of writing? I do actually! There are two new developments. Development number one... Lucky at Bat is an official Finalist in the Book Excellence Awards! Cue happy dancing! Who would have thought that out of all of the books I've worked on, the little book about rats and baseball would be the winningest? (It's a word. I swear!) 

Joseph. Joseph would have thought that, and he's here in my corner telling me "I told you so" in the loudest possible voice. I am really proud of my little weirdo. 

In other, also very exciting news, my Middle Grade novel The Ghost in the Garden has been picked up by a publisher! Even after writing umpteen books, it's still a whole ordeal to get them placed in the right hands, and I still get the joy of dealing with submissions, cover letters, and the long wait. But I am very excited about this one. The Ghost in the Garden will be coming out with Crimson Dragon Publishing. And I can't wait to see their funky little logo on the spine of that book. I love writing weird tales about things that interest me, and finding out that I am not the only one to find these things interesting. In this particular case, this is a ghost story, but it's firmly set in Stratford, Ontario. I researched Stratford, and put some of my favourite landmarks in it, and talked about quirky things I've noticed about the place in the many many times I've been there. If you haven't been, I can't recommend it enough. And not even just for the theatre. All the places the characters go in the novel are real, and are awesome. I can't wait for the updates on this one, from cover art, to edits, and for it to finally get into readers' hands! According to my daughter (also known as my unpaid Beta reader), Sophie Madison is her favourite character that I've created. So, tons of pressure on me there for this book to succeed. 

I am currently working on edits with Hailey on our novel The Kimmy Girls, and then it will be once again back to the land of submissions, cover letters, and waiting (not in that order. The cover letters come first!). It's a never ending cycle when you're a writer and my kids are learning this the hard way. Except for Phillip. Phillip is knee deep in basketball land. And that's great too! I believe in following one's passions, even if that is all things sports. I have learned a lot about sports from my kids. I think I can even passably ref a game or two if I had to. The hand signals are kind of fun. (Rolls hands to show 'travelling'). We will be heading out to Niagara Falls in April for a tournament, and then I get to show him the awesome weirdness that is Clifton Hill. Can't wait to show the pictures that will come from that day!

Until then! (Or sooner, if I get my act together.)