I am finally back. I survived my first family vacation with the babies! We spent a lovely week and a bit in Arizona visiting family, seeing the zoo, and swimming. We had an amazing time, and this proved that yes, you can fly with infant triplets and live to tell the tale. There is just one catch, a catch that still now has me occaisionally seething with rage. This is the catch: Watch out when you choose your airline. I will now relate the nightmarish ordeal that was our first flight with our babies:
 
My husband Brian and I were recently going on a family vacation to Phoenix with our fifteen month-old triplets. This was to be our first trip with them, and we were travelling with my father, my sister, her two year-old, her six month-old, their nanny, and our live-in caregiver Vivian. Our direct flight to Phoenix left at 8:05 a.m. on May 19th, and understandably, given the large number of people and infants in our party, we wanted to be on time. My husband and I woke our children at 5:00 a.m. and got a ride to the airport from his parents. We got to the check-in line around 5:30 that morning.  We were separated from my father and sister by one of the Air Canada employees and directed to a different check-in line under the pretense that the new line would be “faster”. We then proceeded to wait for an hour and a half before someone started calling for people whose flights were leaving  8:30 or earlier. I called out that we were leaving at 8:00 and we were pulled through to get to the next available check-in clerk. Another Air Canada employee came to me and stated that I had too many bags and strollers to wait where I was standing and had to wait for a particular clerk at the farthest end of the row. I complied and went where I was directed. The woman we ended up dealing with was having severe computer troubles and ended up having to restart her computer with each bag we checked in. None of our bags were over the weight limit, all were properly packed. Furthermore, two of our children were not in the system, even though we had confirmation of their being booked on the flight. Getting this sorted out took nearly a half hour.

After check-in, we were rushed through to customs, where an employee was kind enough to let us through the line for people with NEXUS and special needs. She took pity on us and our two strollers and copious amounts of baggage. We got to the customs official two people behind my father and sister. I watched as they went through to security and baggage. We then went to the customs official who let our live-in through and stopped me as I had three bottles of milk for my infant triplets. I was taken to a separate room where, for a total of two minutes, I was asked what was in the bottles. As we were leaving the room, and entered the security area, an Air Canada employee came up to us and told us we were no longer permitted to drop off our bags and board the flight. I was understandably upset. I asked if there was anything to do, and she informed me there was not. Furthermore, because of my short detour into the customs area, it was no longer Air Canada’s fault that we were late. I was shocked. Since when was two and a half hours early for a flight “late”? We asked to call up to the gate to my father and even that was a hassle for her. My husband spoke to my father, and the employees on the flight were waiting for us. They had not been informed that we were no longer allowed to fly. Without apology, or any modicum of politeness on her part, the Air Canada employee unceremoniously ripped the luggage tags off our bags and escorted us back out into the terminal. Brian’s parents had our van. We had no way of getting home, and we were supposed to meet my relatives in Phoenix that afternoon. I was livid. Brian went off to find someone to speak to, and was told by yet another Air Canada employee that we were late due to “secondary circumstances”, not the airline’s fault. He stated that this was not the case. We were late due to impossibly long check-in lines and computer trouble.  The employee offered to take him to the ticketing desk where we would be placed on a different flight. One catch: Our 8:05 flight was the only direct flight to Phoenix that day. No one wanted to wake up three babies at 5:00 a.m. a second time. Now we would have to fly twice in one day.

Brian went to the ticketing desk, where the woman he dealt with was rude and did not want to deal with him. She did not know why he was there, and sent him to the check-in desk. The check-in desk could not help him, as they did not have the means to book three adults and three infants on any flight. As Vivian and I proceeded to feed our now hungry babies in the middle of the terminal, Brian was shuffled from desk to desk by a bunch of upset employees who were not communicating with each other. Finally, he returned and I was told that we would be on the 12:40 flight to LAX, followed by a two and a half hour stop-over and a flight to Phoenix from there. We would be spending eighteen hours in airports that day, with triplets who had never flown before. We checked in again, and for our trouble, were given $10.00 a person in food vouchers, only good on the first plane, and in the Air Canada lounge. One thing you need to know: Neither of these locations are conducive to providing nutritious meals for infants. Furthermore, a mother will bring food for her kids, however, she will only bring food for what is needed, NOT anticipating a marathon day of plane hopping and sitting around airports for eighteen hours.

Needless to say, that day was awful, exhausting, frustrating, and filled with crying on my kids’ part. The second flight did not have any changing facilities, and flight attendants do not take kindly to your changing a smelly, full diaper on the seat in full view of other passengers. Also, a child does not take kindly to being forced to have his diaper changed while standing on top of a toilet because his mother is not allowed to change it normally in her seat. I wanted very much for our first trip aboard a plane to be easy, stress-free, and fun for our children. Instead, they were forced to spend a full day in a strange environment, watching their parents cry, and get yelled at. They had barely any food for both lunch and dinner. We as parents, felt useless at providing for them, as there was nothing to provide. What good are food vouchers, when they can only buy alcoholic beverages, Pringles, and sandwiches covered in strange sauces infants will not eat?

We finally landed at LAX and then had to walk outdoors past a bustewd sewage pipe to get to our terminal to catch our second flight to Phoenix. As we were going through security for the second time that day, they took the mini wines I had bought with my rediculous vouchers and informed me they needed to pat me down. I complied, insisting on standing out in the open, rather then go into their little pat down room. When they put their swabs from my clothes through their machine, it dinged that I was covered in hazardous material. Great. After five hours of being drooled on, having cereal bars mashed into my clothes, drinks and baby tylenol spilled on me. I can not say that this was a surprise. Due to this, I was then taken into the separate room, and given a more thorough pat down, where a stranger put her hands up my shirt and down my pants. By the time we got through, we barely made our second boarding, and as our second flight was Air Canada's sister air line, United, we had no voucher power for airline food. However, the pilot was kind enough to find us milk so our babies we were able to give them their bottles at least. Dinner for them was made up of potato chips and carrot sticks. Not the best choices there, but it was better then airport sushi that I found in the terminal.

This trip found Air Canada’s customer service severely lacking. As a long-time customer, I was most severely disappointed. I have never been treated so rudely. At one point, while I stood crying in frustration, one of the airline's employees told me to stop. What right did she have to do that? I find myself loathe to use your airline again. Is this how they are trained to treat people? THEY made us miss our flight. They, at first, tried to put the blame on others so they would not have to do anything about it. And then they treat us miserably.

Now, I will be sending this story to the airline in an angry letter, with additions from Brian. He will be adding the details about what happened at the desks while Vivian and I were dealing with feeding the babies. Also, to add to the ludicrous nature of all this, he was told the second time that we checked in that on the holiday weekend, (which was when we were flying) the airline chose to move all the flights to first thing in the morning so that travelers would have the entire day at their destination. Also, a lot of the staff were given the day off. In short, less workers + more congestion= airline stupidity. I want compensation. And by that, I mean a little bit more then $10.00 worth of crappy airline food. This was supposed to be a great experience for us and our children. It was our first vacation together as a family. And rather than have a nice relaxing airport experience, we spent over eighteen hours in and out of airports, on and off of planes, hungry, tired, stinky, and angry. I still am over this. I can't get my day back, but I could at least get  a refund and an apology. I could at least have that vindication. Right?

First thing’s first: I got the DVD copy of my Rogers interview. Once I learn how to post it here, I will definitely do so. Hopefully it will be as easy as everyone says it is to do. However, bear in mind that I am a newbie at all this website stuff. Things that are simple to some, remain impossible to me. I hope this is not one of those things. Maybe I’ll get Brian to help me out here.

In other news, Sunday was quite eventful. Not only was it Mothers’ Day (Which I will get to later), I also had my first musical theatre audition since the babies were born. I find the audition to be, without a doubt, the most nerve-wracking part of being a performer. Everything rests on how you do in your audition. Not only that, you are not handed the lines or the songs to sing. This is done at the callback (if you even get a callback). At the audition, you choose your song, you choose your monologue, you choose how you will perform it. It’s all on you. And to make matters worse, you are performing a mere few feet away from the production team. They are seated behind this table, staring at you, maybe scribbling notes, maybe ignoring you completely, reading your resume, looking bored, or trying to look pleasantly neutral. Ugh.

The show I was auditioning for is Fiddler on the Roof. I don’t really want to say which parts I put down, mainly because I don’t want to jinx anything. I spent the better part of this week, carefully selecting a song, carefully choosing a monologue, and practicing them for my captive audience of fifteen month-old babies. If their reactions are anything to go by, my dancing is laughable. I ended up doing a rendition of “Show Off” from The Drowsy Chaperone, and Buttercup’s monologue from the novel The Princess Bride where she realizes she does love Westley. You can check out the song below. P.S. Sutton Foster does a MUCH better job than I did.

I entered the room and chose to do the monologue first. I think I did alright. The director then asked me to redo it, and pretend that I was the WORST community theatre actress around when I did. So I repeated it as a valley girl who couldn’t remember her lines. I think that was what he wanted? Then I did my song, and I forgot a line. Ouch. That was fairly embarrassing. I absolutely hate when that happens.  The whole thing took less than ten minutes. Then we went for dinner.

Something to take note of: Babies in a fancy Italian restaurant is a recipe for a huge mess. Joseph now things alfredo and parmesan cheese make the best and smelliest of finger-paints. He was practically swimming in the stuff. Then when the babies were released from their high chairs, he ran for the restaurant’s foyer and locked himself in. Phillip decided he wanted to climb up to the restaurant’s second level where there was a private party, and Hailey just wanted to be held. It was glorious chaos. I don’t know how much they really ate that night. Hailey eschewed the penne for plain pasta and peas. Phillip seemed to enjoy my crème brulee and the focaccia bread that was on the table. I found it all noisy, messy, and crazy, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t love every second of it. Brian got me a lovely necklace, and my babies got me some earrings. Brian said they chose them themselves. I believe him. Phillip has distinct ideas about fashion. He picks out his outfit every day. Now all I have to do is finish packing for our first family vacation and wait for the callback announcements.   I’m not nervous at all. J

I was on television this morning! Yikes. I barely slept last night, my brain seemed to be working on overload. I kept coming up with the worst case scenarios. It was like Shel Silverstein's poem about the Whatifs was coming to life in my mind. What if the host asks me nonsense questions about stuff that isn't even in my book? What if they haven't read it? What if they DID read it and hated it? What if they ask me what books I like and I say an answer that annoys people and they don't want to buy my book out of spite? What if they question me about a book series I can't stand and I say I hate it, and its legions of fans burn my book out of spite? What if I forget how to speak English? What if I get so nervous I can't think of anything interesting to say? What if I wear my impossibly high heels and trip and fall on set and everyone laughs at me? What if... what if... what if...

I woke up this morning just after 7:00 and got dressed. I remembered to not put on my make up and forgot my fears about my shoes. I did wear the impossibly high ones. I got into my car and hit the Tim Horton's drive through. About fifteen minutes later, I was out of the Tim Horton's drive through with my bagel and giant coffee. (I forgot how much I HATE rush hour.) Fifteen minutes after that I was at Rogers TV studios. I parked in the first available Visitor's spot I saw and was told that where I wanted to be was a different door a ways down the lot. Rather than move my car, I proceeded to totter across the uneven pavement towards the right doorway. I entered and met Anna, one of the stage managers who sat me in the Green Room (which unlike the Green Room at The Toronto Centre, is not green.). I confirmed that the information they had on me was correct, and got a microphone attached to my shirt. I sat there a bit and chatted with another guest who was there to speak about being a Divorce Doula. I also met someone there doing a spot on the Kids' Help Phone. After a while, I pulled out a bit of paper and banged out a rough version of an epilogue for Book Two. What can I say? I had an idea and didn't want to lose it. I was then taken into a make up room and got my face transformed.

After make up, I then waited some more in a separate area, where I think I was on a set for a different Rogers show. I waited there with a woman who had two small dogs with her: a pug and a Pomeranian. They were adorable and so well-behaved. She was there to talk about her line of doggy rain coats. And yes, they come in Sebastian's size. I had a bit of a snack while I waited. I had found out that they had put me at the very end of the show, so I had quite a wait to go. Anyway, check out where I was:

As the doggy fashion show was going on, I was taken to an area on set where they hooked my microphone up to the sound system. Glen, one of the hosts came over and told me not to be nervous. I felt a bit better when I saw that he had a copy of my book in hand. The one I had brought seemed superfluous, but I left it on the table in front of me anyways. They gave us a ten second warning, and then he introduced me. I don't remember much of what happened next, but Glen seemed like he had read my book, and was enthusiastic about it. I relaxed, and proceeded to flub a couple of words as I spoke. But I think I came across okay. At least I HOPE I did. As I left the studio, a couple of people asked me where they could find copies of The Strings of the Violin, and I gave out the information. I tottered back to my car and came home. I expect a copy of the interview within a couple of weeks, and I'll put it up here and on my Facebook. Let me know what you think! All in all, it was a good, if nerve wracking experience. I'm glad I did it.